3.26.2013

The Mom Files

I was talking to a Mom friend the other day and somehow we started talking about Mom war-stories, so to speak. It then turned into a Jeff Foxworthy type conversation of 'You know you're a redneck Mom when...'. Here are a few of mine...

You know you're a Mom when...
  • the shoulders to all your clothes have spit-up stains or drool marks
  • your 'purse' is now your diaper bag and instead of pulling out the latest shade of lip gloss you're pulling out teething rings and MumMums 
Not my actual diaper bag (mine is worse!)
  • Said MumMum remnants are stuck to everything.you.own
  • bodily fluids are just a part of life. Enough said. 
  • you're idea of spring shopping is buying the baby a new wardrobe and maybe an iced coffee for yourself while you do it.
  • taking a shower (with shampoo and conditioner) in a day is an accomplishment.
  • bonus points if you wear something other than yoga pants and a hoodie.
  •  you constantly have songs like 'The Itsy Bitsy Spider' and the 'Wheels on the Bus' in your head.
  • you catch yourself singing said songs in the car...alone!
  • your friends have blocked your Facebook profile because you clogged their feed with pictures of the babe saying 'No, this one is THE cutest'. Jokes on them, I switched to Instagram! (@jmed21)
  •  you find any possible way to buy the cutest (and very expensive) products for baby like Freshly Picked mocs. These are seriously the most adorable shoes ever! I want some for me!!

we need them in every color!
  • you take out a second job to buy said apparel (see above). Kidding. But I've thought about it.
  • 5am is your new wake-up time. Everyday.of.the.week. And you don't even mind when you see that adorable little face.
  •  a night in with the baby and your man beats any night out on the town. 
  • you now own the entire Disney collection.  
  • you know what a blow-out is. And it has nothing to do with hair.
  • you haven't seen a full TV show or movie in weeks months. 
  • you can no longer watch the news.
  • your daily schedule is based around nap times.
  • you've had your fare share of baby food tastings. And sometimes it's your dinner too.
  • the baby, her room and clothing are the only clean things in the house.
  • every sentence starts with 'today the baby did the cutest thing...'.
  •  your iPhone is maxed out of memory from all the pictures and videos you have of the baby.
  •   you text the Daddy numerous times a day telling him of all the cute things the baby has done. You also text anyone else in your phonebook who will listen.
  • Multi-tasker is your middle name. Who knew you could walk the dog, while feeding the baby and making dinner all at once?!
  • you're the Boss of doing anything with one hand. Cutting a steak, chopping a pineapple, opening jars...no problem! Nothing you can't do with one hand!
  • you rate restaurants and other public places based on how good their changing tables are.
  • you wouldn't trade that old life for your new one. ever.
  • you can love one tiny little being with ALL your heart and completely unconditionally!
I could go on (an on) with a million 'You know your a Mom when...' but I'll stop for now.  I'm sure these are just going to get more interesting (and possibly gross) as the months and years go on. Bring it! There is nothing I would trade for my babe! What are your 'You know your a Mom when...'???

    Wait...this is the cutest picture, ever!

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