It's the Little Things

Do you ever have those days that have you cringing, where nothing seems to go right and all you want to do is curl into a ball and hide under the covers?

Me too.

That was my yesterday. I felt like I was being pulled in a thousand directions, had tons of stuff to get done and of course didn't get any of them done the way I wanted (or at all). It was busy at work, I got lost going to a meeting and was late (I hate being late), I spilled my coffee all over my desk, I'm trying to hustle my shop, I was trying to take good photos but the lighting was horrible, Autumn was getting impatient with me, I kept telling her 'let me just finish ___'. Before I knew it, it was time for her to go to bed and I realized I'd barely spent any time with her. All that kept ringing in my ears was 'let me just finish this' as I kept putting her second to silly stuff, really.

I hate that.

So then I felt horrible about that, I had to work out since I hadn't Monday, which then put dinner off. Ernest ended up getting McDonalds and I ate toast, at 10pm. I still had to make lunches, shower, and do some work. I just felt overwhelmed yesterday, like I wasn't doing a good job at anything and that really bothers me. Working a full time job, being a good mom, being a partner, running a house and now trying to run another business can just be too much pressure sometimes.
I hate to complain because I know how blessed I am and others would love to be in my shoes. I love my life and all the things I have going on. But everyone just has those days where the pressure is just too much. I guess.

This morning, I heard Autumn whimpering at 6am. She hasn't woken up this early in a few weeks and I rarely get to see her before I leave to work. So I went to grab her and was greeted by her sweet smile and messy bed head. It's as if she knew (and God knew) that I needed those extra 45 minutes with her today. To kiss her a million times, to squeeze her tight and laugh at her little babbles.
It's the little things.

Seeing her this morning just made my day. Today is already infinitely better than yesterday. Here's to spending more time with Autumn and Ernest, less time 'just finishing' all the other things and finding my balance.


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